The Crazy Hat Box

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Why I Have a Baseball Bat by My Side of the Bed

I’ll admit, I like to be scared.  I don’t like gore, but I love suspenseful movies.  I think it’s hilarious when someone jumps out and scares the ever-living daylights out of me.  I love it when someone tells me a scary story and it sends chills down my spine.  When I was a kid, my parents did it all the time.  My mom said that even when I was a toddler, if one of them scared me, I would say “do it again!”  I guess it’s my kind of ‘extreme sport’.  I get an adrenaline rush out of it.  I realize not everyone is like that.  This day, however, was different….

It was a beautiful Saturday morning in the fall.  I’m a morning person and I like fall best, so the crisp air and lovely breeze coming through the open window, woke me up bright and early.  First things first, I let the dog out.  She started wagging her tail and walking towards the door as soon as I sat up.  I stepped outside with her.  I wanted to soak in some of my favorite weather.  She lingered and so did I.  Finally we walked back in the house.  I walked into the kitchen and started some coffee.  Then, I walked to my basket of magazines, picked out a couple with fall inspiration, and went back to snuggle under the covers.  My husband hadn’t moved.  He is a night owl, so he goes to sleep much later than me, and then tries to sleep in a little longer.  I got back into bed as gingerly as possible.  He still didn’t move, so I was proud of myself.   I’m happily flipping through my magazine, getting inspired for the fall season. “Wait, what was that?”  I thought.  “I could swear that sounded like someone was walking on our creaky wooden floors.”  I looked down and the dog had her ears on high alert, but she wasn’t moving or growling.  I sat there perfectly still and didn’t hear anything.  She laid her head back down and I went back to reading.  There it was again.  This time the dog stood up.  For a moment, I was frozen.  Then I could see the shadow of someone walking toward the bedroom!  I whispered to my husband.  “Honey, someone’s in the house.”  Again, this time a little louder, “Honey, honey, someone’s in the house!”  By this time, the dog has her head down, the hair on her neck standing straight up, and her teeth bared.  I thought to myself, “ok.  the dog will give him a run for his money for at least a few seconds.”  While at the same time, looking around, desperately, for something to hit this guy over the head with.  Keep in mind, this was all in a matter of seconds.  Finally, I thought, I’m going to have to stop whispering, and shove him out of the bed.  I said, in a much louder voice, “HONEY, SOMEONE IS IN OUR HOUSE!”.  Just as I was saying ‘HOUSE’, I reached over to shake him awake.  It was pillows.  He came strolling in with a big grin on his face.  The dog started doing her ‘I’m so happy to see you’ dance.  I started laughing and punching him at the same time.  So, this day wasn’t really different.  I thought “good one” to myself.  I told him it was going to be really hard to top himself after that.  He did though.  That’s another story.  Oh, and now there’s a baseball bat sitting by my side of the bed.

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