The Crazy Hat Box

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Spider! or Put Your Glasses on First

on April 29, 2014

I’m terrified of spiders.  Not just, I don’t like them, they creep me out. T-E-R-R-I-F-I-E-D.  That is how the following paragraph came about.

I’m not just terrified, I’m paranoid.  Every single morning, before my shower, I check the bathroom for spiders.  I look up along the walls and across the ceiling.  Then it’s a check on the floor, then on to the sink.  I’ve gotten lulled into a sense of security and slacked on this before, but I will not fall for that again.  Whenever I decide that I don’t need to check anymore, they know it.  And they show up.  One morning I was doing my usual spider check.  I finished up, feeling satisfied that those little creepy creatures had stayed away.  So, I pull back the shower curtain to start the water.  THERE. IT. WAS.  Now, I’m not going to exaggerate and say that it was the biggest spider I’d ever seen.  Although, it might as well have been, considering the fear in my heart.  I would have been paralyzed if my ‘fight or flight’ instinct hadn’t kicked in.  I did freeze for a moment though.  Then IT MOVED!  That was it.  Forget fight.  It was flight.  And scream.  Yes, that’s right.  Flight and scream.  I went running to the bedroom.  My poor husband was ripped from a sound sleep by me screaming through the house.  Spider, spider, SPIDER!!  We have a strict rule in our house that he is the spider slayer.  So, he sat up in bed, put his feet on the cold floor and headed for the bathroom.  I might add that he was entirely too calm.  “Poor man.  He doesn’t understand the gravity of this situation”, I thought to myself.  As I was walking behind him several steps he reached the bathroom door.  “Where is it?” he asked, with his very first words of the day voice.  “In the tub” I said, feeling another rush of adrenaline.  He walked in and I heard him pull the shower curtain back.  I peeked around the corner and he looked up at me, with the “spider” in his hand and said, “New rule.  If you want me to kill spiders, you have to put your glasses on first.”  I grabbed my glasses and put them on my face.  Yep, it was lent.  I took my shower and he went back to bed.



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